Deriving Position

It's strange, how the little things in life have the ability to shift our moods ever so slightly, in an almost unnoticeable way. And it's even stranger, when those little mood changes push from one end of the spectrum, past the midpoint, and into unfamiliar territory, and all of a sudden, I realize.

I'm content.

Yes, it only has been a week. A week since I felt my entire world crashing down upon me, a week since I was emotionally in pieces, a week since I felt everything, and then nothing. But I am okay. And is that bad? Is it bad that I've gotten over it so quickly? Is it bad that I've healed from that, that I'm not so broken and hung up on it anymore? Is it bad that I can care about the other aspects of my life, that I can focus on the important things?

Is it bad that I can be happy, so quickly?

I don't know. Maybe in another's eyes, I'm heartless, I'm psycho, I'm a whirlwind of unnecessary drama and feelings. And I can't deny that I'm not all those things. I can't claim that I'm a dropped pin at the center of a standard deviation curve, able to mourn for exactly the right amount of time to be socially acceptable. What I can say, however, is that it is who I am, and I can accept that, because I can accept the feeling of being happy.

And the thing is, this contentedness is due mainly to such minute details of my life. Knowing that I matter greatly as a friend to a number of people, finding out that I'm doing really well in my hardest class, meeting someone who puts a smile on my face, making friends with people who I never expected to before; these are all things that are contributing to my current state. These are the things that make me happy, these are the things accelerating my progress away from the dripping mess I was last week, and it's such a great feeling. It's a great feeling not having to lie to myself that it's going to be okay, because it is okay. Being able to wake up in the morning and not think immediately of what could have been, being able to listen to an old song and not feel a nasty twinge in my heart, being able to just be me again, it's so refreshing. It's so wonderful, and I'm so glad.

So maybe it's been a little fast. But it's good, in my opinion, that it's been this fast. It's nice, to be able to get over something like that with this speed, because now I can keep on with the other things in life. It's not like I don't care about what happened, or about him anymore. It's just that I can live despite it.