Seven

Yes, the title may be a bit confusing. But it's meant to signify the seven deadly sins, something that has been a lot more prevalent in film than religion-sloth, greed, wrath, gluttony, lust, pride, and envy. The idea is that, although these are all terrible evils, everyone in the world possesses a little of each of these traits-and truth is, that's correct. People are flawed, and as much as I would like to think otherwise, I'm pockmarked by asmuch nasty, if not more, as others.

In terms of these 7 deadly sins, however, it seems like there's one in particular that lives the most strongly within me. It's not something I like to think about too often, but today, a surge of pure, green-eyed jealousy brought me to realize that I definitely portray envy.

And the worst part of the ordeal was the fact that this sudden onset of envious rage was brought on by someone for whom I'm not even romantically involved with-it was just one of my friends from high school, someone with whom I'm not even especially close.

I had originally planned to spend the day with him, seeing as we were conveniently in the same area-it was something I'd been looking forward to, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping it'd go somewhere else.

But then, at the last minute, another friend decided to change her plans and join us for the day. Reluctantly I agreed, pretending as if I was okay with the situation. I secretly wasn't. So we met up, we explored the city, we had our little adventures-it was great, it was all fun and games, all the way through dinner. I thought I had it under control. Although they had hit it off on some singular subject, I was still winning the race, this imaginary racing going on in my sick, inebriated mind. It wasn't even a matter of who liked who or what got where-I wanted to win, I wanted to get the prize, and in that, I forgot my surroundings, my actions. I became so wrapped up on trying not to lose the spotlight that in the end, I pushed it away fom me. And that was when the disgusting bitterness of envy set in, a little monster in my head screaming "I knew him first!" "You don't even belong here!" "Why did you have to go and ruin all my plans?"

Sometimes I get in my own way.